secret springs

The process of blogging and working on some songs and other unknown reasons......has helped me to feel better.

 The sun isn't shining but the rain has stopped and it's not that cold. I could even plant flowers if I wanted.

 I almost have one of the songs done.

 It's mildly depressing but I like the melody in part of it a lot so I think it's worth singing again. 

I think I'll call it  

 Secret Springs   

  How do you like that for a title? Sounds mysterious. 

I find the creative process healing. I think it connects me with my true self, which connects me with God.
 When I am connected to Him he can untie knots in my thinking and heal my little heart. 

This video is the best. 

Hope you find some time to be creative and free where nobody can tell you what to do or who to be.
That rhymes.

Love Kristen

Blame it on the rain?

All my flowers patiently wait for the rain to stop so I can plan them. 

For the last couple of weeks I feel like a hamster in one of those wheels. 

I just run from doing dishes, to putting away laundry, to running to the store and spending too much money, to getting home and unloading the stuff and realizing that I forgot to get toilet paper again. 

 Just when I want to take a nap the kids are about to get home.

 Or when I want to watch Oprah I remember pretty soon there won't be an Oprah.

 She keeps counting down the shows like it's great, but I am sad. 

I don't want to pay more money to get her channel, especially if the Oprah show isn't even on it.

 Then I think "that's dumb, you shouldn't be so attached to a TV show or to Oprah", 

but I am attached to her and she is always showing up in my dreams at night. (Along with Jack Black and Jim Carey.) 

Then I think "I'll take a break when Nate gets home" but then I remember he has a late meeting at work. 

Then the kids all go play and I crash on my bed, but instead of it  making me feel better I feel depressed because I didn't do homework with them again and it's all my fault that they aren't going to develop talents or get good grades because I think 3:30 to 5 is only good for napping.

My head is in a trap.  

My eyes are fogged over. 

 I snap out of it for a minute and I think "oh good, I'm glad that's over" 

Then I fall back into the maze because the twins fight over which car seat to sit in, then Sarah hits me hard, then I spank her hard, then I think "Damn! 

I wasn't going to ever spank her again because it doesn't work, it just makes us feel awful!  

But what in the heck?  I don't know what I'm doing with this parenting thing."

 I shouldn't say damn on my blog because some people think it's a swear word, but I don't, I think it's a biblical power word and it's great  for special occasions.  

It's my grandma's 90th birthday but I of course am late in sending her a gift. 

Is it the constant rain that is making me a negative Nelly?

 Do I need medication?

 I can't finish any song I start. I can't finish any blog post I start.

 Except for yesterday's and maybe this one if I decide to publish it.

 I'm going to the store to get toilet paper, then to the post office to mail my grandmas gift.  

Maybe when the sun shines and I can plant my flowers, I'll feel better.

leaps of faith

I went hiking the other day. 

This time of year the Lazuli Buntings have migrated here from Mexico.

  I have never seen one in my neighborhood but when I hike in the foothills I see lots of them.

 I love seeing them and hearing their song.  As I was hiking I came around a corner and one of these little birds flew within 3 feet of me and landed in a shrub, then it saw me and flew off. The sun was shining really bright and when it was in flight the tops of its wings caught the light of the sun and flashed this brilliant metallic blue! At first I thought it must be a new and exotic type of blue bird that I was seeing, but then it landed in a tree and looked like a Lazuli Bunting again. The blue I saw when it was in flight was so bright it made me gasp. 

I think it is the same with us. 

When we take leaps of faith and fly, the light of the Son will shine on the tops or our wings and colors that were unseen, flash, startling and exhilarating the viewer. 

picture post catch up

Spring is my favorite season. May and June are my favorite months. We worked in the yard for hours this weekend. I did not wear that hat as some kind of floppy fashion statement. I really hate it when my scalp gets sun burnt. I'm highly apposed to getting sun burnt.

Nate worked so hard. Good job honey. 

Gwenyth and Sarah taught themselves how to ride a bike this weekend. Gwenyth was the first to learn. 

Apparently my friend Kristy helped her practice in her driveway a few days ago. I looked out my window on Saturday and there was 4 year old Gwenny riding a bike. What the heck!?

I'm pretty sure Sarah would not have attempted to ride a bike

 but since her twin sister was, she wanted to try. Off she went. 

I was 8 when I finally learned to ride a bike! 8! 

My brother was 5 when he got a bike for his birthday. He learned to ride it in about 5 minutes. My poor dad had been trying to teach me for years. When I saw James do it on his first try that was it. I learned the same day he did out of jealousy and humiliation. 

They are so happy about riding a bike. They keep saying at the end of every sentence "And I can ride a bike!" What little coordinated cuties. 

Gwenyth was quietly occupied for a long time on Saturday. 

She was upstairs making all the beds and cleaning her room and Emmaline's room. She also caught all these snails in our yard. Be aware that if you put a bunch of snails in a tupper ware and put a lid on it for a few days when you take the lid off, get ready for a bad stink. 

Well now don't we look cute. 

Mothers day was busy. All the kids went to church with very wet hair. 

They ate the chocolate that their teachers gave to them to give to me. I think that's pretty rude. All except my oldest. Thanks for restraining yourself Em.

My dear Nathan made me eggs Benedict for breakfast. For dinner we had my parents over and he made fried talapia, shrimp, salmon, crab, asparagus, potatoes, pineapple, mango and homemade french bread. How am I supposed to keep up with that when fathers day comes around?!

 I'm making a plan for father's day. I don't know if it will involve that much food. Can I just go buy you a lot of gifts that we both want? 

cjane wrote a very good mother's day post.

 I wasn't in a philosophical mother's day mood so I just wrote this post.

This morning Gwen made her own breakfast.

 Carrots, hot dog, milk, slice of ham. Mmmmmmmm tasty.

I hope to be outside enjoying spring tomorrow. 

It has been rainy the last couple of days. That's fine with me. I love rain. I have been reading my books and listening to the rain every chance I get. 

Oh ya I forgot to mention. I went to open mike Friday night. I invited my older kids to come with me but they didn't want to. I invited my Nate to come but just when we were ready to run out the door already 15 min late, Emmaline our oldest and our babysitter had disappeared and left her cell phone. I just went by myself. I missed my family. It was a beautiful night to be outside and I was inside. I played 3 songs and didn't sweat. That's only because I seem to only freak out and sweat in front of close friends and family. Strangers and acquaintances don't make me as nervous. 

Today I practiced a song I wrote called The War with Danny. We are going to record it on Saturday. I still can't quite sing the last part all that well. Hummmm hope I can do it on Saturday.  

It's that cool rock song I was talking about a few posts ago. I hope I'm not the only one that thinks it's cool.

I haven't wanted to make a singing video lately. I'm not sure why. Maybe soon, maybe not. 

Go here and listen to one of my favorite people if you want. 

A few of my favorite songs on this album are

The Most

Still Down Here

and 

If he tried

I like them all but those are some really good ones.

I must go to the store but instead I blog

I was too tired to go hiking, plus I completely forgot. I do that often........completely forget. 

 I'm reading some really great books, like about 4 really great books.

I usually try to just read one at a time but suddenly I feel starved for knowledge!!! 

Must gain knowledge and wisdom!!! I've been feeling extra lost in my life lately so I'm sure that's why I'm craving the knowledge.

I'm not just lost in my life but I have a few people close to me in some hard and confusing situations.

I'm trying to make sense of their life and my own. 

One of the books I'm reading is Light in the Wilderness by

M. Catherine Thomas. She quotes this poem by Alexander Pope in her book.

All Nature is but Art, unknown to thee:

All Chance, Direction, which thou canst not see;

All Discord, Harmony, not understood;

All partial Evil, universal Good:

And, spite of Pride, in erring Reason's spite,

One truth is clear, "WHATEVER IS, IS RIGHT"

I'd like to quote the whole introduction of M. Catherine's book

 and for that matter every page I've read so far.

That's not very practical though.

M. Catherine, what does the M stand for?

I think it should stand for  Magnificent.

As in "Magnificent Catherine Thomas"

Tonight is open mic(rophone)

Not everybody thinks I can sing, but I think I sound just fine.

(I found that written on a wall in our house.)

Karma. What goes around comes around. 

I carved this into my Great Grandmother's piano when I was 9.

It says "I hate M" then I tried to scribble it out.

My mom made me practice piano that day. 

Too bad I quit when I was 10. Piano skills would really come in handy about now.

Karma came around 28 years later.

Plus, I'm now the proud owner of that piano.

If I go to open mic I'll be wearing my new red shoes.

Red symbolizes confidence and vitality.

I hope I feel confident and vital instead of sweaty and uncomfortable like last time.

                                                       

I wish I had a British accent

Are you wishing I would get a nicer camera? I take most pictures with my iPhone..........sorry about that.

 Today was busy. Today was nice. I had a few impatient grouchy moments with my kids but over all a good day. It was my mom's birthday this week so my sister in law Ashley had the brilliant idea of going to this lovely place in Salt Lake call Elizabeth's Tea.  We sipped herbal peppermint tea (my favorite) and had ginger scones with cream and lemon curd.  I even tried a beef and mango chutney pie. That sounds gross but it was good.

Our waiter was this handsome Englishmen from Liverpool. His accent sounded British and Irish mixed together..............Ahhhh, music to my ears. People with British accents have such the advantage. They automatically sound twice as intelligent and twice as attractive.

Tonight was my sweet boy's last soccer game. He even scored a goal......... his team still lost though.

My Father in law turned 60 so we had a party. We went around the table and said what our favorite things were about him. I think Jill shared the best one and that is because of his example his 4 sons are the best husbands and fathers. Us 4 daughter in law's reap the rewards of his great example.

Tomorrow I'm hoping to go hiking with friends. Can I really wake up that early? Do I really want to?

A song for sure tomorrow!  I keep running out of time!

Sundays. They are the best of times, they are the worst of times............

They promised me next Sunday they'd dress like twins.

Sunday's can be rough on me and my 4 girls. One girl is having hormonal anger and fashion issues and the other told me everything I say is annoying and she wants a new mom. (while shooting me the meanest look)
Sometimes my children's rudeness doesn't get to me. Today it hurt. A lot.

I made a divine Sunday dinner. I totally reminded myself of my wonderful mother who always make divine dinners and has since I was little.I love it when I remind myself of my mother. Nate loves to cook, so often, when we don't go to grandparents house on Sunday he cooks. This Sunday I wanted to. I told him to take a nap. He did happily. I cooked. I listened to Boyd K Packer on the radio. My kids took a walk and played. I was alone. I love being alone. You know the scripture "Be still and know that I am God" ?    Well it's true.

Have a great day. Hopefully next post I'll have time to sing you a song. My husband and I got the good video camera all hooked up with our computer. It will be nice to have my body match the sound.