keeping track of the days

                                          

Saturday

  My driveway was covered in chalk drawings. My kids, my sister's kids, my brother's kids were all very busy playing at our house this weekend. It really made me smile to see all these cute butterflies, flowers, hearts, rainbows all over the driveway.

My girls are very crafty and love to cook. 

Isn't that sweet.........

it is until it's your kitchen that is trashed and your ingredients for dinner all used up.

 I try not to squelch their creativity so I leave the kitchen and tell them to clean up their mess. 

I take deep breaths and tell myself It'll be OK. 

They are having fun and getting along and being creative. 

That is more important than a clean kitchen. Right? Breath.........breath

These are the times I numb out watching Oprah.

They made little cinnamon toasts, 

apple triangles with Greek caramel yogurt and a chocolate chip on top 

and chocolates with sprinkles on top. 

It was all yummy, they sold  all this and more making 10 dollars! 

They dressed Sarah up like a monkey,

 made her dance in our yard when cars went by to attract customers.

Honestly, she is a cute little dancer and was really shaking it

Sunday

In the middle of the Sunday Mayhem I saw this bird in my back yard!
 It is a Western Tanager.
 I have never seen this type of bird in my backyard. Not even up in the mountains.
I was very delighted.
 I stared and stared. It looked so out of place among the starlings and robins.

After church we went to my parents for dinner.
They are finally both home from their world travels.

It was so good to be at my parents. We stayed till 10pm.

Monday

This made me laugh.

While Nate and I were painting Emmaline's room

 Luke got this chair stuck on his head.

 Sarah came upstairs saying Luke needed me. He never needs me anymore so I was curious. 

I was cracking up. He was a good sport and let me take pictures before we pried this baby off his head.

Funny right!?

Still funny

Tuesday

The dang ice cream truck parked its big booty in front of my house today. 

What a rip off. 

I was such a party poop and told the kids no way. 

They acted like they didn't hear me and spent their own money on Popsicle's.

 I know I'm not the only mom that gets ticked when the ice cream truck comes calling. 

Well the kids are in bed and there are only a few more days of school. 

They are all quiet except for one. Hmmmmmmmmm

Parenting is tricky. 

We are trying to calmly give clear boundaries.

Rewarding for good behavior, taking away privileges for negative behavior. 

Will this work out in the end? Oh boy. It's not looking good tonight.

I hope everything we are trying to teach them is sinking in somewhere.

If I had something yummy and chocolaty I'd be eating it.

Somewhere during this weekend Danny came over and we practiced.

He was a bit spacey because he proposed to his girlfriend a few days ago!

Glory Be!

Well that is a lot of pictures. 

blogging is a bit too technical for me at times

May 23's post has my newest song on it. I tried to get it to publish to today but it was a no go and now It's time for me to go on date with Nate. If you want to hear my newest song scroll down to May 23 and there you have it!!!


Happy Saturday

Day Dreaming

photo by Melissa Cochran


 my ancient guitar Jupiter

I'm day dreaming today. The sun is out, the sky is blue, it's not too hot, not too cold. Perfect conditions for day dreaming and a good mood to thrive.

This weekend I am going to work on my last two songs that I want on the demo with Danny. 

Have I mentioned how much I love to write songs? 

Finally a use for my over abundant supply of thoughts and feelings!

I can't wait to see what Danny is going to come up with for these songs.

He can listen to my song  that I play very simple guitar with. Usually I only use 2 or 3 chords in a song. He understands the feelings I'm trying to convey and then he jumps in with such beautiful guitar glory.

Guitar Glory I tell you!

This has been such a surprise source of fun and joy in my life. It has been a source of "oh my heck what am I doing?!!!" too. But today it's sunny. Today I'm all chilled out. Today my life is just right. 

I wish I could stay in this happy chilled out place where it's sunny and breezy. 

But life isn't meant to be easy and breezy. 

Duggar boot camp

 I fantasize about sending my kids to live with the Duggars for a year. 

Maybe Michelle and Jim Bob can teach them to work, get along with siblings, obey their parents and be responsible citizens.

 So far it's not looking so good for our kids.

 So much weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth around here. 

 Last night at dinner we were having a fun time together. We were discussing the joy's of Sponge Bob and laughing over our favorite episodes, and  eating homemade "crabby patties". After dinner we were going to read as a family then the kids would earn a surprise privilege (watching Justin Bieber Never Say Never!) 

Only 2 out of the 5 kids earned the privilege. The other 3 went to bed.

These are the times when I loose my perspective. 

When they are being so rude and can't even sit still for 10 minutes of reading. I know the scriptures can be boring for kids but it's only 10 minutes! 

Pardon that little rant.

Gwenyth and Sarah graduated from preschool. It was pretty cute. 

They will be headed back next fall for one more year of preschool before they go to Kindergarten. 

So now what? 

They need places to go and people to see. 

My oldest child Emmaline turned 12.

I love the person she is becoming. 

Tonight we went to Temple Square for the young women's activity. I'm a teacher in Young Women's so now having Em in Young Women's makes it all that much more fun!

I'm so glad it stopped raining long enough for us to enjoy a beautiful night.

blue sky mind

Bleeding hearts in my back yard.
 A flower in the shape of a heart? How can that be?

 Praying my head off is like a regular thing.

 I don't pray my head off because I'm trying to be so good or because I think I should. 

I pray because I can't help it. I'm needy and I'm really homesick.  

I wish I could go back home and be loved and reassured that I'm doing right and that

 I'm still His favorite child. ;)

Then I could come back down here,

  plow through all my Costco shopping, laundry hauling, meal cooking, 

homework helping, bedtime putting life. I could face the confusing problems, I could handle with ease all the many things about this life that are hard, that just drag on and don't make sense.  

But if  I got to go home every day it would defeat the purpose of this life. 

 I get these glimpses of eternal perspective and drink from the "secret springs"
 but life keeps changing or worse, gets stagnant.
 I loose my footing and loose my perspective and feel lost again.
 I've worried that it was my fault. How could things be so clear, love and peace so strong then back to wandering in mental anguish again? Ugh! Not again!

It has been raining and raining . One night the storm was so fierce it woke me and Nate up. It was dark and windy.  It tore off lots of brand new leaves from our trees.  Tiny apricots were all over the grass too.

 But without all this spring rain  we wouldn't have our reservoirs filled.
  The trees and plants would die. 

 Is it the same with our mind and our personal growth? 

 Must we live in this illusion? We've got to be lost in a storm for awhile?

  During all these weeks of rain and dark skies the sky has still been blue up there above the clouds.
 We just can't see it.
 The sky never changed color, it is always blue.
Clouds just block our view.
Things look worse in our minds than they really are because our perceptions are distorted.
Clouds of thoughts from the atmosphere darken our blue sky mind.




This post was brought to you today by...........
 my own storms and illusions, and by............
 the inspiration and guidance I am getting from M. Catherine Thomas' book
Light in the Wilderness.
You should read it.

Here is my newest song
Secret Springs

It's not perfect :(
Nate told me some parts of it that he wants more of so now I'm thinking I need to reconfigure the melody a bit........
this is what it sounds like for now anyway

P.S.
Nathan, thanks for spending all evening helping me
 instead of doing your P90X work out.
Your so nice to me and I love you

secret springs

The process of blogging and working on some songs and other unknown reasons......has helped me to feel better.

 The sun isn't shining but the rain has stopped and it's not that cold. I could even plant flowers if I wanted.

 I almost have one of the songs done.

 It's mildly depressing but I like the melody in part of it a lot so I think it's worth singing again. 

I think I'll call it  

 Secret Springs   

  How do you like that for a title? Sounds mysterious. 

I find the creative process healing. I think it connects me with my true self, which connects me with God.
 When I am connected to Him he can untie knots in my thinking and heal my little heart. 

This video is the best. 

Hope you find some time to be creative and free where nobody can tell you what to do or who to be.
That rhymes.

Love Kristen

Blame it on the rain?

All my flowers patiently wait for the rain to stop so I can plan them. 

For the last couple of weeks I feel like a hamster in one of those wheels. 

I just run from doing dishes, to putting away laundry, to running to the store and spending too much money, to getting home and unloading the stuff and realizing that I forgot to get toilet paper again. 

 Just when I want to take a nap the kids are about to get home.

 Or when I want to watch Oprah I remember pretty soon there won't be an Oprah.

 She keeps counting down the shows like it's great, but I am sad. 

I don't want to pay more money to get her channel, especially if the Oprah show isn't even on it.

 Then I think "that's dumb, you shouldn't be so attached to a TV show or to Oprah", 

but I am attached to her and she is always showing up in my dreams at night. (Along with Jack Black and Jim Carey.) 

Then I think "I'll take a break when Nate gets home" but then I remember he has a late meeting at work. 

Then the kids all go play and I crash on my bed, but instead of it  making me feel better I feel depressed because I didn't do homework with them again and it's all my fault that they aren't going to develop talents or get good grades because I think 3:30 to 5 is only good for napping.

My head is in a trap.  

My eyes are fogged over. 

 I snap out of it for a minute and I think "oh good, I'm glad that's over" 

Then I fall back into the maze because the twins fight over which car seat to sit in, then Sarah hits me hard, then I spank her hard, then I think "Damn! 

I wasn't going to ever spank her again because it doesn't work, it just makes us feel awful!  

But what in the heck?  I don't know what I'm doing with this parenting thing."

 I shouldn't say damn on my blog because some people think it's a swear word, but I don't, I think it's a biblical power word and it's great  for special occasions.  

It's my grandma's 90th birthday but I of course am late in sending her a gift. 

Is it the constant rain that is making me a negative Nelly?

 Do I need medication?

 I can't finish any song I start. I can't finish any blog post I start.

 Except for yesterday's and maybe this one if I decide to publish it.

 I'm going to the store to get toilet paper, then to the post office to mail my grandmas gift.  

Maybe when the sun shines and I can plant my flowers, I'll feel better.

leaps of faith

I went hiking the other day. 

This time of year the Lazuli Buntings have migrated here from Mexico.

  I have never seen one in my neighborhood but when I hike in the foothills I see lots of them.

 I love seeing them and hearing their song.  As I was hiking I came around a corner and one of these little birds flew within 3 feet of me and landed in a shrub, then it saw me and flew off. The sun was shining really bright and when it was in flight the tops of its wings caught the light of the sun and flashed this brilliant metallic blue! At first I thought it must be a new and exotic type of blue bird that I was seeing, but then it landed in a tree and looked like a Lazuli Bunting again. The blue I saw when it was in flight was so bright it made me gasp. 

I think it is the same with us. 

When we take leaps of faith and fly, the light of the Son will shine on the tops or our wings and colors that were unseen, flash, startling and exhilarating the viewer. 

picture post catch up

Spring is my favorite season. May and June are my favorite months. We worked in the yard for hours this weekend. I did not wear that hat as some kind of floppy fashion statement. I really hate it when my scalp gets sun burnt. I'm highly apposed to getting sun burnt.

Nate worked so hard. Good job honey. 

Gwenyth and Sarah taught themselves how to ride a bike this weekend. Gwenyth was the first to learn. 

Apparently my friend Kristy helped her practice in her driveway a few days ago. I looked out my window on Saturday and there was 4 year old Gwenny riding a bike. What the heck!?

I'm pretty sure Sarah would not have attempted to ride a bike

 but since her twin sister was, she wanted to try. Off she went. 

I was 8 when I finally learned to ride a bike! 8! 

My brother was 5 when he got a bike for his birthday. He learned to ride it in about 5 minutes. My poor dad had been trying to teach me for years. When I saw James do it on his first try that was it. I learned the same day he did out of jealousy and humiliation. 

They are so happy about riding a bike. They keep saying at the end of every sentence "And I can ride a bike!" What little coordinated cuties. 

Gwenyth was quietly occupied for a long time on Saturday. 

She was upstairs making all the beds and cleaning her room and Emmaline's room. She also caught all these snails in our yard. Be aware that if you put a bunch of snails in a tupper ware and put a lid on it for a few days when you take the lid off, get ready for a bad stink. 

Well now don't we look cute. 

Mothers day was busy. All the kids went to church with very wet hair. 

They ate the chocolate that their teachers gave to them to give to me. I think that's pretty rude. All except my oldest. Thanks for restraining yourself Em.

My dear Nathan made me eggs Benedict for breakfast. For dinner we had my parents over and he made fried talapia, shrimp, salmon, crab, asparagus, potatoes, pineapple, mango and homemade french bread. How am I supposed to keep up with that when fathers day comes around?!

 I'm making a plan for father's day. I don't know if it will involve that much food. Can I just go buy you a lot of gifts that we both want? 

cjane wrote a very good mother's day post.

 I wasn't in a philosophical mother's day mood so I just wrote this post.

This morning Gwen made her own breakfast.

 Carrots, hot dog, milk, slice of ham. Mmmmmmmm tasty.

I hope to be outside enjoying spring tomorrow. 

It has been rainy the last couple of days. That's fine with me. I love rain. I have been reading my books and listening to the rain every chance I get. 

Oh ya I forgot to mention. I went to open mike Friday night. I invited my older kids to come with me but they didn't want to. I invited my Nate to come but just when we were ready to run out the door already 15 min late, Emmaline our oldest and our babysitter had disappeared and left her cell phone. I just went by myself. I missed my family. It was a beautiful night to be outside and I was inside. I played 3 songs and didn't sweat. That's only because I seem to only freak out and sweat in front of close friends and family. Strangers and acquaintances don't make me as nervous. 

Today I practiced a song I wrote called The War with Danny. We are going to record it on Saturday. I still can't quite sing the last part all that well. Hummmm hope I can do it on Saturday.  

It's that cool rock song I was talking about a few posts ago. I hope I'm not the only one that thinks it's cool.

I haven't wanted to make a singing video lately. I'm not sure why. Maybe soon, maybe not. 

Go here and listen to one of my favorite people if you want. 

A few of my favorite songs on this album are

The Most

Still Down Here

and 

If he tried

I like them all but those are some really good ones.

I must go to the store but instead I blog

I was too tired to go hiking, plus I completely forgot. I do that often........completely forget. 

 I'm reading some really great books, like about 4 really great books.

I usually try to just read one at a time but suddenly I feel starved for knowledge!!! 

Must gain knowledge and wisdom!!! I've been feeling extra lost in my life lately so I'm sure that's why I'm craving the knowledge.

I'm not just lost in my life but I have a few people close to me in some hard and confusing situations.

I'm trying to make sense of their life and my own. 

One of the books I'm reading is Light in the Wilderness by

M. Catherine Thomas. She quotes this poem by Alexander Pope in her book.

All Nature is but Art, unknown to thee:

All Chance, Direction, which thou canst not see;

All Discord, Harmony, not understood;

All partial Evil, universal Good:

And, spite of Pride, in erring Reason's spite,

One truth is clear, "WHATEVER IS, IS RIGHT"

I'd like to quote the whole introduction of M. Catherine's book

 and for that matter every page I've read so far.

That's not very practical though.

M. Catherine, what does the M stand for?

I think it should stand for  Magnificent.

As in "Magnificent Catherine Thomas"

Tonight is open mic(rophone)

Not everybody thinks I can sing, but I think I sound just fine.

(I found that written on a wall in our house.)

Karma. What goes around comes around. 

I carved this into my Great Grandmother's piano when I was 9.

It says "I hate M" then I tried to scribble it out.

My mom made me practice piano that day. 

Too bad I quit when I was 10. Piano skills would really come in handy about now.

Karma came around 28 years later.

Plus, I'm now the proud owner of that piano.

If I go to open mic I'll be wearing my new red shoes.

Red symbolizes confidence and vitality.

I hope I feel confident and vital instead of sweaty and uncomfortable like last time.

                                                       

I wish I had a British accent

Are you wishing I would get a nicer camera? I take most pictures with my iPhone..........sorry about that.

 Today was busy. Today was nice. I had a few impatient grouchy moments with my kids but over all a good day. It was my mom's birthday this week so my sister in law Ashley had the brilliant idea of going to this lovely place in Salt Lake call Elizabeth's Tea.  We sipped herbal peppermint tea (my favorite) and had ginger scones with cream and lemon curd.  I even tried a beef and mango chutney pie. That sounds gross but it was good.

Our waiter was this handsome Englishmen from Liverpool. His accent sounded British and Irish mixed together..............Ahhhh, music to my ears. People with British accents have such the advantage. They automatically sound twice as intelligent and twice as attractive.

Tonight was my sweet boy's last soccer game. He even scored a goal......... his team still lost though.

My Father in law turned 60 so we had a party. We went around the table and said what our favorite things were about him. I think Jill shared the best one and that is because of his example his 4 sons are the best husbands and fathers. Us 4 daughter in law's reap the rewards of his great example.

Tomorrow I'm hoping to go hiking with friends. Can I really wake up that early? Do I really want to?

A song for sure tomorrow!  I keep running out of time!

Sundays. They are the best of times, they are the worst of times............

They promised me next Sunday they'd dress like twins.

Sunday's can be rough on me and my 4 girls. One girl is having hormonal anger and fashion issues and the other told me everything I say is annoying and she wants a new mom. (while shooting me the meanest look)
Sometimes my children's rudeness doesn't get to me. Today it hurt. A lot.

I made a divine Sunday dinner. I totally reminded myself of my wonderful mother who always make divine dinners and has since I was little.I love it when I remind myself of my mother. Nate loves to cook, so often, when we don't go to grandparents house on Sunday he cooks. This Sunday I wanted to. I told him to take a nap. He did happily. I cooked. I listened to Boyd K Packer on the radio. My kids took a walk and played. I was alone. I love being alone. You know the scripture "Be still and know that I am God" ?    Well it's true.

Have a great day. Hopefully next post I'll have time to sing you a song. My husband and I got the good video camera all hooked up with our computer. It will be nice to have my body match the sound.