Luke was baptized

My son Luke was baptized April 14. As I stood for this picture I thought of the painting of Jesus behind us. I felt a whisp of a feeling that He really was "standing" with us in the picture. That he was proud of us. That He loved us. That he was proud of Luke's desire to follow Him.  I wanted to cry. Would he really "stand" in a picture with me? No. What a silly thought.  I fell prey to doubt. But then I felt hopeful because my son is young and pure. I know he would stand in a picture with Luke. Then I felt......  He wants me to feel his love. Just believe He would stand in a picture with me, how ever whispy the feeling.  Just believe.

I'm wearing my Grandma Helen's bracelet and my Grandma Cleo's necklace. I know they were celebrating too.

It was also my niece's 9th birthday. Sweet shy face as we sang.

Baby royalty in attendance.

Annie and Wesley

I think I kissed his cheeks a hundred times

Luke was the only baptism that day. Emmaline gave a talk on Baptism. She was herself. Sweet and pure. Then Emmaline and I sang I Am a Child of God.

I enjoy singing with her.

Nate gave a talk on the Holy Ghost

He stood up there in his white jump suit.  I found it a little funny. His jump suit, not his talk.

He compared having the gift of the Holy Ghost to having a spiritual GPS to get us through this life. 

I seriously loved this day. I loved the days leading up to this day.

I love my boy.

I haven't had time to blog because I've been at the gym with my sister in law.

 I have been a lot less lazy. 

When I get home from the gym I feel like my limbs are made of quivering jello and I haven't eaten in days. I eat and eat then I flop on my bed as much as possible to rest my jello limbs. 

Ashley is amazingly strong. You should see how much she can lift. 

She has been my personal trainer. Thanks Ash! 

My brother James is a blessed man. 

Going to the gym makes me feel tough. I want to feel tough. 

I've always seen myself as a skinny, uncoordinated weakling. I would like to change this belief I have about myself. 

I reject this belief!

 I now believe I have a long, lean, toned body that is getting more coordinated every day. 

How's that? I feel better all ready. 

Spring is heaven. I don't know how any other season can be better than spring. 

We have worked in our yard today.  Nate and I thinned our raspberry bushes and we planted a peach tree. We still have a nectarine tree to plant. 

Our chickens think we dig in the dirt just for them. They come running and look for worms where we are digging. 

Our little chicks are growing up. We had them out on the grass today. 

Tabitha our dog is scared of our big chickens. 

One of the big hens is very bossy and will chase Tabitha, but the little ones she wants to chase. One of the chicks lost some tail feathers today. Tabitha couldn't resist chasing her. I'm glad we were able to intervene. I don't need a chicken death on my conscience.

The kids have spent the day playing soccer, running through the sprinklers, playing with friends and cousins. 

My kids have it good.

I'm recovering from my long busy day. I still have things I need to do and it's past my bedtime :( 

Just wanted to post quickly. It's been such fun week.

Have a great day.

Love Kristen

less lazy

Emmaline had a tea party with her friends.

She promised me she'd clean it up. 

She did.

When I saw the stack of wasted sandwich edges with the fine deli meats and cheeses,

I refrained from being a party poop and saying

"Did you have to waste all this good food?"

No.

I took a picture and was happy my daughter has sweet friends.

It was easier to refrain because I had such a nice lunch with my dad.

He's a good dad and I've missed him.

Scheduling fun in my life helps me be a pleasant mother.

(most of the time)

Today my friend Leilani came over and saved me from a clinical depression

 brought on by piles of un-put-away  laundry.

You think I'm exaggerating.

I'm not.

Sometimes my need for fun makes my house look like I'm a lazy bum. 

Then I wonder....maybe I am a lazy bum?

If I am then that's no fun.

My mum was never a lazy bum.

What's wrong with me?

Am I that lazy?

At least I've birthed 5 kids as proof that I can get something eternally important

 all done!

Tonight I'm going to do yoga in public.

In a real gym that I plan to become a member of.

All the 38 years of my life I have never joined a gym.

Why would I want to exercise for the sake of exercise?

 In doors.

 With other people who might look at me?

My reasons for making such a drastic life changing choice?

I rarely do yoga at home anymore and when I do I'm so easy on myself.

I hold the poses only as long as is very comfortable for me. 

I want to feel like I'm getting stronger not weaker.

I want to do something that really makes me aware that I'm here on earth in my physical body.

I hope I don't embarrass my sister in law Ashley.

We are going to be new work out buddies. 

She is sporty and runs and plays indoor soccer and the like.

It will be fun to be with her.

I choose fun

It's Monday.

My favorite.

It's Spring.

My favorite, favorite.

The last few weeks have been very full and very good. 

Luke's birthday.

Family vacation to California.

Easter.

Luke's baptism.

I want to do a big I love Luke post soon.

Today I'm going to lunch with my dad.

 FUN

I can always tell how busy my life has been by how the laundry room looks. 

Today, massive piles of clothes to be put away!!!

I have a lot of fun and I take naps.....this means that my house is sometimes unorganized and messy. 

Saturday night and Sunday I was feeling like a loser because my house is messy and un organized but

I always feel like winner when it comes to how much fun I have and how I love a good nap. 

Today I choose fun. 

No surprise.

Today I choose to feel like it's my choice to have piles of laundry waiting because I'd rather go to lunch with my dad. 

kindergarten shots!

Is Sarah tough or what?

The little boy that went before her went completely postal. 

Gwenyth has been so excited to get her shots for kindergarten. 

I've been pumping them up for it. 

It worked. They, especially Gwen were looking forward to being tough and brave and getting a prize.

They forgot about the prize! 

I told them I'd take them swimming. 

I'm sure they'll remember at some point but they were just so excited to show their friends their battle scars and tell them how brave they were. 

It is so exciting to see them grow and see how they are ready and happy to move forward in their lives.

It's been a great week. 

music, media, meditation

For the past several days the only person I want to hear singing is......

Kelly Clarkson.

Yep. I mean it.

Pandora station is set to 

Kelly Clarkson

My ring tone is

Kelly Clarkson

 "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!!!"

Every time I hear that song it's like  shazameeee is injected into my blood stream!

Her voice has this franticly intense sound but it's still under her total control....like a wild thing living in her throat that she has some how tamed and can use to make her point. I want that.

I'm also enjoying a few other punky little singers.

 I must have some pent up mad and mean that needs a harmless release through music. 

Can there be such a thing as a punky, mormony, mamma singer? Singing me some gospel? 

Oh the world of music and media we live in. It really is amazing.  

Today I watched T.D. Jakes on Oprah's next chapter.

My mom watched T.D. Jakes a few days ago on Oprah and told me how insightful and inspiring his take on the loaves and fishes was.

After watching him today it made me want to take a trip to Texas with my  mom and hear him in person.


Tonight as a family we watched
We Bought a Zoo
It was so happy, moving, spiritual, fun and sweetly sad.
Matt Damon  and Scarlett Johansen are so great in it.



Are you wondering how I have so much time to watch TV and movies today?
That's just the kind of cushy life I lead ;)
Really though,
my friend invited the twins over to play. I was going to go out on the town running errands but then a big glorious thunder storm rolled in.
I turned on the heat, got under a blanket....with some chocolate and enjoyed the storm.
Once the storm was over

 I meditated.
You know, to help me live in the now, and keep me from getting all anxious and grouchy.

Once I was all done aligning my chakras I turned on Oprah.

Then tonight, movie with the kids.

Fun day.
Good day.
I'd like a repeat tomorrow.

Law school friends are friends for life

While in California we drove up to Del Mar Beach to visit some old friends we haven't seen in years.

Now I'm realizing I would have liked to have gotten a picture of Nate and I with Becky and Adam.

They are friends from our Arkansas law school years. 

In those days we both had 2 little girls. 

Now look at the population explosion. :)

10 kids between us. 3 of my kids have the same names as 3 of her kids....

We didn't do that on purpose of course but  it's a funny little coincidence.

Adam is a big tough marine. God bless America.

They got us a great deal on a beach front cottage on the U.S. marine base

Thanks friends!

my Luke had a great time with their 3 sons, one of whom is also named Luke :)

Becky brought her kids wet suits for my kids to wear. I think they look like cool little surfers.

Here we are on our last day in California kissing the beach good bye. 

I hope I don't have to wait 2 years again to see the beach.

You couldn't pay me to get into that freezing water but I sure love to be on the beach with the sky and the sound and sight of the waves and the smell of the salty air.

Becky, move to Utah and be my neighbor. 

You could help me not be so lazy and I could help you learn the art of doing nothing.

You see Becky above with her energetic self. She built us a bond fire on the beach. The kids ran around in the dark all over that big beach. I hope they remember all the happy times in their childhood and forget all the times when they fight or when their parents have no clue how to be parents. 

Forgive us children!!! We are trying I promise.

Well that's about it for our trip. 

It's been beautiful spring weather since we've been home so it's made it easier to be here and not California. 

The trees have beautiful blossoms and the grass is greening up.

Today I had the windows open as I lay on my bed.

I'd been a good little worker all morning, my kids had gone outside to play with friends and I was comfy and content in my breezy room.

I'm not always comfy and content so when I am I savor it. Mmmmmm yum.

In fact a lot of the time I'm blah and unmotivated and grumpy.

Those are the times when I'm not being grateful.

Sometimes I'm so anxious and confused. 

Those are the times when I'm not living in the moment. If I'm anxious and worried it's because I'm trying to  figure out my life for the next 20 years and of course that's impossible.  Either that or I'm comparing myself to people and feeling like a loser. That's always an effective way to make myself miserable. 

But that sounds like a topic for a whole different post.

It's raining right now and it sounds so nice. 

I've been blessed today and I feel so happy and grateful and in wonder. 

Have a good day or night and I'll see you soon.

Disney Land

I didn't think I was that scared. 

I wish we would have gone on Splash Mountain again and made sure to be able to see the twins faces. Gwen is behind my hair :(  She didn't want to be in front.

Emmaline is the one behind AnnaKate with her hood over her head. She was so scared and pitiful. She acts as if Nate and I are abusive for going on this ride and encouraging her to come with. Should we have left her to wait? 

5 year olds at Disney Land are way better than 3 year olds! No melt downs, all fun from these 2.

Well maybe one melt down while waiting for the shuttle bus back to the car at 10:30 at night. 

They were so exhausted they could hardly walk.

My little brood.

Nate was too shy to ask someone to take a picture of us or even let me ask? ?  

What a weirdo he is. 

You should see him at firm parties dancing like a drunk disco queen, but to ask a nice person at Disney Land to take our picture is too much?

Some nice people walked by and volunteered to take our picture.

This line was long but no complaints from my lovelies. 

All the lines were long. It was incredibly crowded.

Somehow we still had so much fun.

Minnie's day bed.

It's a small world.

This is my mom's favorite ride. 

I love the words to the song.

"It's a world of laughter a world of tears.

It's a world of hopes and a world of fears.

There's so much that we share that it's time we're aware it's a small world after all."

So simple and quaint but so true.

I just liked this picture even though it's grainy.

The parade was so great! It moved me to tears, which isn't hard to do.

The best rides for our family were

Big Thunder Mountain

Space Mountain 

Star Tours (new and improved!)

Splash Mountain

These rides made us laugh, scream, and cry with joy or fright....which ever.

WooHOo!!! 

That was a fun day.

I love hearing my kids talking about it now that we are home.

private to public....ooops

Hi. My friend Catherine just notified me that my video was set to private so it couldn't even be viewed. I stayed up late doing this video so guess what. Here it is again so you can actually hear it. I don't know why nobody else said anything.......is it that scary to comment? ;) Does no one else have a google account?...

Goodnight my darlings. It's been a very fun day. I even took a hike and  I even called my friend Kurt with the recording studio. I don't know when what or how I'm going to record more songs but by golly I'm going to. I really want to get the 5 I've recorded up on iTunes so anybody who wants can hear them.

See you soon

I love Mondays

When I was a student or when I was working full time I never liked Monday's much. 

As a mother I love them. 

3 kids at school

1 still asleep

1 snuggling with her chicken watching PBS kids

and me

in my pajamas

4 huge baskets of laundry waiting for me

they can wait

I'll get to them when I get to them

my little girls love mermaids and dolphins.

I love my girls art work.

Plus, look at how cute they write their names.

Engage for His sake

While on vacation this past week I've had time to think about the my life. I've come to the realization that I'd like to do more doing instead of thinking about doing. 

I'd like to exercise instead of thinking about exercising.

 I'd like to decorate the mantel instead of just wishing I would. 

I'd like to sing instead of thinking about singing. 

This life is our chance. Our one chance to DO.

 Our chance to take leaps of faith.

Our one chance to take risks. 

To step into the darkness with only our hope and our faith. 

To jump from a seemingly high cliff and trustingly and maybe even happily find ourselves in a free fall. Having faith that we can trust our heart. 

We passed a billboard on our long car ride home. It read...

ENGAGE

learn

do

become

Here is tonight's attempt at ENGAGING in my life

learning

doing

becoming

instead of sleeping....

Celebrating Christ's Resurrection is worth engaging for. It's even worth loosing some sleep.

I hope you know I mean every word I sing.

I was intoxicated by the ocean air last post. It was like I was doing a free association writing assignment then I had the audacity to publish it like it was something worth reading. 

The kids r growing up. This trip has been far less torturous in the car than the last time we were all in the car for hours together. I can honestly say the car ride has been easy. Wow. 

 Disney Land, the beach, getting together with old friends. This has been a full, fun trip.

Water, waves, sunshine.

Sand

Tide pools.

Equals.

Hours of entertainment for our kids and happy relaxed parents.

Disney Land Pictures coming soon.

Our youngest children being 5 years old made this Disney Land trip much more fun than the last time we came when they were 3. Our twins are tall so we could go on all the rides as a family. They were too short for Indiana Jones ride but all the other roller coasters we could go on as a family. It was so fun, despite the crowds.

I'm feeling ready to be home to wash our sandy, salty clothes. I'm also feeling ready to detox from junk food and get exercising again! I have never had a gym membership ever but this trip has me thinking I need to get one. This vacation has truly been a break for all of us. I'm happy to say I love my life enough that I'm looking forward to going home to my little routine. 

Ocean dreams

I can hear the ocean. I'll sit here sleepy and content and see if anything comes to me to write about. It's not like I don't have lots of stories and ideas, I just want to know which story or idea to pursue and wander around in.....

 My finger nails look so pretty but my belly is a bit bloated tonight. We drove for hours but my kids hardly had one fight. 

I can hear the ocean, my kids are asleep in the room next door. My husband is hunting and gathering, he's always getting us more. 

He bought some tooth brushes since the kids forgot theirs. It's been 48 hours since their teeth have been brushed so now they wear sweaters. 

 Tomorrow we'll lay on the beach and swim in the pool. Family vacations are so cool. 

This poem is goofy. I like my hair extra boofy.

I'm hoping my farm back home is well taken care of. It's so nice to be away from worries I've had my share of. 

One of my kids had a bad attitude at dinner. My husband is counting calories for fun and he's getting thinner.

I'll stop writing this poem even though it's such a winner. 

I think I must have eaten too much dinner.

Tonight my little brother David is at a taping of Oprah's life class. It's being taped at Radio City Music Hall in New York. I'm so excited for him. He loves Oprah maybe as much as me. 

No way. 

I know I love her more. 

I can't wait to hear about it and watch it. It's with Tony Robbins, that huge muscular motivational speaker. 

Have I ever told you I have incredibly detailed crazy dreams. 

Sometimes my dreams show me the future. 

Sometimes they explain in my own symbols what is really going on in my head and heart.

Sometimes they transport me to another dimension between heaven and earth. 

Sometime they teach me things I must learn.

Sometimes they are like movies that I watch but I'm not in. 

Sometimes I'm a different person, different age, different gender, different race.

I write the best ones down in my journal. 

I have recurring dreams that I can't figure out their meaning.

I have recurring dreams that I know exactly what they mean.

Every night when I go to sleep I always hope for the dreams that don't feel like dreams,

 but communications from another realm. 

Every night I hope.

Well this post is officially very random. It's almost like I'm drunk. I'm not drunk. Mormons don't drink. Well they can if they want but we have a code of health that we live by and part of the code is to not drink alcohol. 

Obviously I don't need it to help me relax, at least not tonight. 

I'm going to fall asleep listening to the ocean. 

Maybe I'll have a really great dream I can tell you about in the morning.

this is the last chicken post for a while... I promise

I'm thinking making videos on my new phone is pretty fun. 

Although I better not be tipping my phone to the side because that doesn't really work. 

Sarah's giggling is contagious. I love watching her crack herself up over such silly things. 

Look how much they've grown.

My head is all over the place right now (in a good way) so posting about chickens is just better for today ;)

Are you as in love with spring as I am?

The sky, the blossoms on the trees, the daffodils.....

love love love joy joy joy conteeeeentmeeeeeent .......... 

Recognize that baby face? 

Yep. David Archuleta is off on a mission.

I wonder if he'll get doors slammed in his face as often as the average missionary? 

I was remembering my young missionary self. That would have been pretty awesome to sing at general conference. Especially the closing song Praise to the Man.

The man being Joseph Smith. 

Gwenyth, her friend, and I all sang along with gusto.

"Praise to the man who communed with Jehovah!"

They taught the little children that hymn in church this year. 

 I love that my kids know that song.

I loved all the talks today but some really have me shouting hallelujah. 

Jeffrey R. Holland's talk.

David S. Baxter's (he is my neighbor! He's even come over for dinner at my house)
Elder Baxter directed his talk single parents. It's the best talk I've ever heard on the topic.

Richard G. Scott.

Richard G. Scott especially. He personalized it in a beautiful way.


Talking about personal sacred experiences is like trying to handle the delicate wings of a butterfly without smudging the powder that creates the color and design.



I am so thankful that Elder Scott has the grace and inspiration to be able to share and teach us. 
That he would touch carefully on his experiences with his wife Janeane. 
Telling us how he feels her support through the thin veil that separates the physical world from the spiritual one. 

http://mormonchannel.org/



This is the link to go to if you want to listen to any of these talks.


Today will be another day of general conference. I'm excited to listen. Heaven has felt far away at times over the past few months. Yesterday it felt close and all around me. I've been trying to figure out the ways I must have distanced myself from heaven. God and my wonderful family members on the other side are always reaching out to me. I think my own fears and doubts are the culprit that create the illusion of distance between me and the love from heaven I crave. 


It was so wonderful how the kids were so occupied and happy yesterday. I was hardly interrupted as I watched.  My kids are getting older. As much as I dream of having the inner strength and the call to have another baby I must say I am enjoying this stage of family life. I love how they are all getting so independent. We can all have a lot of fun together. I hope I'm doing enough to make our home a refuge from the world. 
I want it to be a  place filled with happy and meaningful memories.