I was intoxicated by the ocean air last post. It was like I was doing a free association writing assignment then I had the audacity to publish it like it was something worth reading. 

The kids r growing up. This trip has been far less torturous in the car than the last time we were all in the car for hours together. I can honestly say the car ride has been easy. Wow. 

 Disney Land, the beach, getting together with old friends. This has been a full, fun trip.

Water, waves, sunshine.

Sand

Tide pools.

Equals.

Hours of entertainment for our kids and happy relaxed parents.

Disney Land Pictures coming soon.

Our youngest children being 5 years old made this Disney Land trip much more fun than the last time we came when they were 3. Our twins are tall so we could go on all the rides as a family. They were too short for Indiana Jones ride but all the other roller coasters we could go on as a family. It was so fun, despite the crowds.

I'm feeling ready to be home to wash our sandy, salty clothes. I'm also feeling ready to detox from junk food and get exercising again! I have never had a gym membership ever but this trip has me thinking I need to get one. This vacation has truly been a break for all of us. I'm happy to say I love my life enough that I'm looking forward to going home to my little routine. 

Ocean dreams

I can hear the ocean. I'll sit here sleepy and content and see if anything comes to me to write about. It's not like I don't have lots of stories and ideas, I just want to know which story or idea to pursue and wander around in.....

 My finger nails look so pretty but my belly is a bit bloated tonight. We drove for hours but my kids hardly had one fight. 

I can hear the ocean, my kids are asleep in the room next door. My husband is hunting and gathering, he's always getting us more. 

He bought some tooth brushes since the kids forgot theirs. It's been 48 hours since their teeth have been brushed so now they wear sweaters. 

 Tomorrow we'll lay on the beach and swim in the pool. Family vacations are so cool. 

This poem is goofy. I like my hair extra boofy.

I'm hoping my farm back home is well taken care of. It's so nice to be away from worries I've had my share of. 

One of my kids had a bad attitude at dinner. My husband is counting calories for fun and he's getting thinner.

I'll stop writing this poem even though it's such a winner. 

I think I must have eaten too much dinner.

Tonight my little brother David is at a taping of Oprah's life class. It's being taped at Radio City Music Hall in New York. I'm so excited for him. He loves Oprah maybe as much as me. 

No way. 

I know I love her more. 

I can't wait to hear about it and watch it. It's with Tony Robbins, that huge muscular motivational speaker. 

Have I ever told you I have incredibly detailed crazy dreams. 

Sometimes my dreams show me the future. 

Sometimes they explain in my own symbols what is really going on in my head and heart.

Sometimes they transport me to another dimension between heaven and earth. 

Sometime they teach me things I must learn.

Sometimes they are like movies that I watch but I'm not in. 

Sometimes I'm a different person, different age, different gender, different race.

I write the best ones down in my journal. 

I have recurring dreams that I can't figure out their meaning.

I have recurring dreams that I know exactly what they mean.

Every night when I go to sleep I always hope for the dreams that don't feel like dreams,

 but communications from another realm. 

Every night I hope.

Well this post is officially very random. It's almost like I'm drunk. I'm not drunk. Mormons don't drink. Well they can if they want but we have a code of health that we live by and part of the code is to not drink alcohol. 

Obviously I don't need it to help me relax, at least not tonight. 

I'm going to fall asleep listening to the ocean. 

Maybe I'll have a really great dream I can tell you about in the morning.

this is the last chicken post for a while... I promise

I'm thinking making videos on my new phone is pretty fun. 

Although I better not be tipping my phone to the side because that doesn't really work. 

Sarah's giggling is contagious. I love watching her crack herself up over such silly things. 

Look how much they've grown.

My head is all over the place right now (in a good way) so posting about chickens is just better for today ;)

Are you as in love with spring as I am?

The sky, the blossoms on the trees, the daffodils.....

love love love joy joy joy conteeeeentmeeeeeent .......... 

Recognize that baby face? 

Yep. David Archuleta is off on a mission.

I wonder if he'll get doors slammed in his face as often as the average missionary? 

I was remembering my young missionary self. That would have been pretty awesome to sing at general conference. Especially the closing song Praise to the Man.

The man being Joseph Smith. 

Gwenyth, her friend, and I all sang along with gusto.

"Praise to the man who communed with Jehovah!"

They taught the little children that hymn in church this year. 

 I love that my kids know that song.

I loved all the talks today but some really have me shouting hallelujah. 

Jeffrey R. Holland's talk.

David S. Baxter's (he is my neighbor! He's even come over for dinner at my house)
Elder Baxter directed his talk single parents. It's the best talk I've ever heard on the topic.

Richard G. Scott.

Richard G. Scott especially. He personalized it in a beautiful way.


Talking about personal sacred experiences is like trying to handle the delicate wings of a butterfly without smudging the powder that creates the color and design.



I am so thankful that Elder Scott has the grace and inspiration to be able to share and teach us. 
That he would touch carefully on his experiences with his wife Janeane. 
Telling us how he feels her support through the thin veil that separates the physical world from the spiritual one. 

http://mormonchannel.org/



This is the link to go to if you want to listen to any of these talks.


Today will be another day of general conference. I'm excited to listen. Heaven has felt far away at times over the past few months. Yesterday it felt close and all around me. I've been trying to figure out the ways I must have distanced myself from heaven. God and my wonderful family members on the other side are always reaching out to me. I think my own fears and doubts are the culprit that create the illusion of distance between me and the love from heaven I crave. 


It was so wonderful how the kids were so occupied and happy yesterday. I was hardly interrupted as I watched.  My kids are getting older. As much as I dream of having the inner strength and the call to have another baby I must say I am enjoying this stage of family life. I love how they are all getting so independent. We can all have a lot of fun together. I hope I'm doing enough to make our home a refuge from the world. 
I want it to be a  place filled with happy and meaningful memories.

chicken whisperer

Gwenyth loves our chicks more than any of my other kids have ever! 

She carries them all over the house and yard and neighborhood. Not 3 at once usually. 

I'm watching General conference today. 

It's some serious spiritual food for me. I always hear things that feel directed straight from God to me. 

Listening to real modern day prophets in 2012.

Pretty cool. 

I love to sit with my journal open so I can take notes as I feel messages of love and direction from the God of heaven float down right into my mind and heart. 

Go here if you want to take a look or listen.

If you want to torture me, put me in a room with people with the rules being you can only talk about surface level topics. Nothing deeper, nothing about what we are all really feeling and thinking and worrying or wondering about. That would be torture. My blog has felt that way to me. Surface. Superficial.     I have not felt free and fearless like I used to. I have not felt inspired or guided like I have in the past. I'm hoping I will feel inspired, free and fearless soon but right now It seems there are other things that are more important to me than writing. Most of what's happening at the deeper levels of my life I feel unable to talk openly about.  Some things feel too sacred. Some things feel like they would make me more vulnerable than I already am. Some things feel like they are not my stories to share. My blog has turned a bit directionless with long stretches between posts. I know you didn't come here today to hear me whine about blogging. So stop blogging you might be thinking. While I'm thinking....Why did you come here? Where are you from and what are you wondering or worrying about below the happy surface?

I'm going to have patience with myself and with life and with my friends lives and my family's lives.   So many things feel like they are in transition....I guess all of life is a constant state of change and transition. I'm going to be patient. I need to make some decisions and figure some things out and the fact that it's spring makes it all seem possible. Everything starting fresh and being reborn.

Have a lovely day...

Happy Sunday

I love spring more than anything.

Temple Square smelled like pansies and hyacinths.

Do you know that smell?

Saturday night we walked through Temple Square after attending 

 the general young women's meeting. 

  

I was married in this beautiful temple.

Last night was such a warm night as I walked around with my daughter

and my friend and her daughter.

One of my favorite things said was "Life by the yard is hard. Life by the inch is a cinch."

President Monson is full of poetic little tidbits like that one. :)

So my pitiful plea for comments didn't get me any but today at church several people 

asked how Caroline was doing. That made me laugh. She's fine by the way but

Sarah is still off playing games with Jesus.

"like patty cake patty cake mom"

was what Sarah said when I asked what game they were playing.

"She'll be back in 8 days when it's summer."

I wish I was vacationing with Jesus. Let me tell you I wouldn't want to play any games. For one I find games boring. For two I think I'd just want to be with him and feel his love.

I was just talking to my mom on the phone and we concluded that's what every earthling is aching for.

Well I better get dinner on the table. 

I made potato leek soup. Diane's recipe. Yum.

My kids favorite.