Happy Winter

Someday when my twins are school all day I will print my blog out into books as a record of our family. 

It certainly isn't a complete record and it's all from my point of view but it's better than nothing.

 I say this because I am posting a billion pictures tonight. What am I going to do with all my pictures ? All my blurry, grainy iPhone pictures? 

The only thing I seem to have time to want to do is instagram, Facebook and an occasional blog. 

That will have to to for the stage of life that I'm in now.

Christmas Morning

Waiting to come down to the living room to see what Santa brought.

Gwenyth has that look on her face because her throat was sore.

They all slept in the twins room together. What cuties.

Em chilling out on her new bean bag with her darling bunny Bambie

Sarah teaching her duck Wellington how to play on her new leap pad.

Christmas at Grammy and Pappa's.

What's a kid to do with all those cousins?

Party and have lots of fun!

This year was a special treat for me.

I went to visit my mom's side of the family in Georgia over Christmas break.

Nate has work off every year. He and the kids went with his side of the family up to our Hyrum house and had fun while I went down to the warm sunny south.

Just me and my sister! Can you imagine how fun and restful ?

They only live in one of the most beautiful places ever.

We would walk around the property and their horse Eli would follow us. What a good boy. He'd come galloping after us if we got to far ahead. 

 Tabitha's little sister Abigail.

She is literally half the size of my Tabby.

 Oh the Georgia winter wheat fields!

Chilling out in the beautiful Windsor Hotel.

I love old buildings.

My favorite old country church on the road home to my aunt and uncle's house.

With a very peaceful and slightly spooky cemetery behind it. 

I love the Spanish moss hanging front the trees.

My aunt and uncle have many darling doggies. 

Bryant doing his one and only trick. 

My sister was ready to put him in her carry on and take him home.

My beautiful cousin Taylor .

She is a talented and natural rider.

My auntie and sis.

And then I came home.

To my kids and mess and life and thank goodness my husband. 

He makes life seem easy.

My Emmaline is growing up fast.

I'm usually too distracted to notice but sometimes it shocks me.

Tabitha is my Georgia born and raised puppy but she has become a snow dog.

 She digs in it and rolls in it with joy.

Our cozy house.

We were buried in 2 feet of snow by the end of the storm.

The best is the sunshine and blue skies after the snow storm.

 It didn't last long but  it was beautiful.

Now I understand where the term "snow bunnies" comes from.

I took Emmaline's bunny out in the snow to see what she would do.

She is a 6 month old domestic dwarf bunny who has never seen snow.

In minutes she was digging and pushing her face in it and digging some more.

She built herself a real live tunnel with 2 snow caves. She was completely hidden and warm and happy.

Wow. What a smart bunny!

Our chickens on the other hand are very opposed to snow. They stay in their coop and only peek out the window. Luke was nice enough to try and tamp down some of the powdery snow so they could come out for a drink of water. 

I want 10 more bunnies, she is so cute!

All right then. I am sort of caught up.

Happy winter.

We are now covered in a 2 inch sheet of ice. 

We had ourselves a real ice storm. You know the kind that usually happens in Illinois or Arkansas? 

I prefer snow over ice.

I don't even dare walk out my front door. 

So I didn't.

I hope I'm not going nuts tomorrow.

Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday!

Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday!

Sarah made a happy birthday sign for Nate on Dec 2 and we have left it up all month. 

The twins turned 6 on the 12/21/12 (you know, the end of the world)

 and I turn 39 on the 25th. 

I am choosing not to do a big long birthday post about Nate, the twins, or me. 

Finding the time to write about my life has been used up in actually living it.

Here is last year's post about the twins.

It's been a great month and I have had so many wonderful and fun days.

One way I have been living my life is spending some time in the recording studio!

Fun!

Sometimes I need a little nudge or even a push in the right direction. 

Last Christmas I sang Oh Holy Night at our Relief Society Christmas dinner. It was a wonderful experience. My dearest husband has wanted  me to record it. That takes time and money so I never did. This year he asked me to record it for his birthday. How could I say no?

I hired my friend Ryan Miller to play the guitar so it could sound  really nice. 

Nathan is pretty much the father of the year. He takes fatherhood seriously. He takes care of the kids often. Not like he is babysitting and doing me a favor, but like he is their father and wants to be with them! It is wonderful.  I find myself with the time I need to do other things. 

I'd be a depressed grouch if he wasn't such a great a dad. 

It was incredibly fun and satisfying to record it. It is a challenging song and one I love. What a joy it was to record it. 

If you want  to hear it go 

HERE

You can even buy it. 

There is also a link at the top of my blog page to Reverbnation where you can hear it or download it.

In January I hope to finish recording Silver Compass and have it up for sale.

One little song at a time.....keeps me sane. 

Gives me energy to conquer mountains of laundry, repetitive meal making, and teasing, fighting children!

I need to get a job to support my hobby......but then when would I find the time to do my hobby? 

Oh dear. 

I will say a few things about the twins birthday. 

They had very high expectations that day. 

A huge party at our house with all their friends! A day at Kangaroo Zoo with cousins! Making a cake with me! Piles of presents!

They were disappointed with what Nate and I were able to offer them that day.

A new out fit to wear to school, making cup cakes with mom, opening a few presents and going to their favorite restaurant for dinner. After a good lecture to all the kids about gratitude and not having un realistic expectations, we had fun at the restaurant. Sometimes my kids really tic me off.

I told them they could have a friend party on January 11. (their actual due date. A much more practical day for a birthday)

Tonight we went to Temple Square to see the lights. It was a balmy 46 degrees. Sarah had no need for a coat. I wouldn't either if I danced and pranced every where I went. 

It was beautiful.

I even ran into my beautiful friend Catherine and her family.

Tomorrow is Christmas eve. I love that day. We will have a feast at Nathan's parents. 

Oh dear turkey and gravy, how I love you. 

My house this morning.

 Quiet.

 My three older children fed and off to school.

 My two youngest asleep. 

Me, still in my robe, in a still house with just my canary quietly cheeping. 

keeping up

Didn't want to leave you hanging. 

Our first time hosting Thanksgiving dinner went well.

The turkey was great, so was the stuffing and gravy.

The only hiccup were the pumpkin pies.

Nate forgot the sugar.

We threw them away and the next day Nate redeemed himself with 3 replacement pies.

They were delicious.

We had a great time with my sister and her kids while they were in town. 

I love the life my kids have with so many cousins and aunts and uncles.

The 14 grandkids range in age from 18years old to 4 years old and everything in between.

Life is busy and good. 

I'm doing my best to keep up with it all.

Keeping up with my cute pack of boy scouts I'm in charge of once a week. 

 

Keeping up with all the Christmas recitals and plays.

My daughters had their vocal recitals.

I love my girls.

Poised, confident, Emmaline. She is 13

I filmed these with my iPhone from the back. Not the best picture but you can hear their pretty voices.

Passionate, lively AnnaKate. She is 11

Taking care of my marriage.

Here we are at 

The Killers

They are an awesome rock band with Brandon Flowers as the lead singer.

Taking care of myself.

That is a big job.

have a laugh

I should post about Thanksgiving but I don't feel like it yet. 

I feel like posting about Sarah.

I'm in the habit of writing things down. I love journaling and have since I was very young, like as soon as I could write.
My kids see me write things down or read things back to them about themselves as babies, or about our family.
Sarah says to me often, when funny or crazy things happen to us,
"mom, write that down"

I have  on my iPhone a little notebook entitled "Funny Sayings" where I write down funny things my kids say.
It's turned into funny things Sarah says. Apparently from the list she is the funniest child I have. 

Now let me warn you, Sarah is very free with her potty words and descriptions.
 Probably because she says them with innocence so I find it cute and don't correct her.
If you are easily offended, don't read on.

I give you
Funny Sayings of Sarah!

"Mom, why did dad marry you?"
Sarah asks in a puzzled voice

Me, answering in an emphatic voice
"Because I'm a good woman"
Sarah "And he thought you were beautiful?"
Me "Yes, I'm a good and beautiful woman"
Sarah "Well, you're getting kindy old on your hands"

(Sarah says kindy instead of kind of)

My friend Karen was over and told Sarah her toes were so cute she was going to eat them.
Sarah said to Gwenyth
"I'm not scared. She's not even hungry"



Sarah was laying on my bed in a happy mood.
She asked me,
"Mom, do you ever see faces in the air?"
For the sake of conversation I said "yes" I wanted to see where she was going with this.
She said
"Me too. I'm going to catch them"
Then she started gently "catching" the faces out of the air as she lay on my bed saying,
"Oh, I caught one! I caught another one! Oh I just caught your grandma! Oh I just caught God!"

I don't know what to say about that one? ;)

One day in passing, Sarah gave me this bit of good advice.
"Jesus doesn't want us to poke our eyes or our skin with scissors, or take pictures of our bums and send them to him on his phone. That doesn't make him happy."

Thank you Sarah. I'm sure you are right.




 I walked into my room to find Sarah laying on my bed in her birthday suit wrapped in a blanket.
It's not unusual to find Sarah under dressed.
She said to me,
"Mom, you are going to be so mad at me"
I said
"I'll try to be understanding"
Sarah "I icked in my underpants. I icked like a baby octopus when it's scared.
Why does a baby octopus ick?"

Me
"I think you mean ink"

I don't remember the context of this conversation. Maybe I had just put her on time out, or finished a very thorough lecture. Anyway, Sarah said....

 "When you get old you're probably going to be nice because you won't have little kids to take care of. That's what grandma's do"
(meaning, that's why grandma's are so nice)

Yesterday after school I was fixing her an after school snack. She said to me with a serious look of concern.
"Mom, today at school it felt like my ears were peeing"

Oh, dear. Excessive ear wax production?

This last one is my favorite. I think the way she says things so earnestly makes it that much more funny and endearing.
If you're not a Mormon I don't know if this will be as funny. It was hilarious to me.
Do you know who Joseph Smith is?
He is a beloved modern day prophet who translated the Book of Mormon and through direct instruction from Jesus Christ and re organized Christ's ancient church.
My husband happens to be a descendant of Joseph Smith's Uncle, John Smith.
This is a source of pride in the family so we have told our kids.
We were at the Joseph Smith Memorial Building in Salt Lake City.
In the Lobby there is a huge marble statue of Joseph Smith.
I asked Sarah if she knew who the statue was of.

She said.
"Our Uncle"
I asked "What is our Uncle's name?"
She said
"Jesus Smith"
 Being there looking at the statue and have her answer  of who our uncle was caught me off guard.
It was a delightful moment as Sarah's mom.
I got a pretty good laugh.
I better clarify our genealogy......



OK
one more.

I was singing loudly as I washed dishes at the kitchen sink.
I finished the song in a glorious crescendo.  ;)

Sarah says to me, while staring at me like she doesn't recognize me.

"Mom, what are you?"

Me. Not quite sure what she means...
"I'm me"
Sarah"Who are you?"
Me "I'm Kristen"
Sarah "No mom, what do you do?"
Me "I'm a mother"
Sarah "No mom, what's you job?"
Me, finally getting it. Thinking of what I wish my side job would be...
"I'm a singer songwriter"
That satisfied her.

I am a singer songwriter in my own little house. Happily writing songs and singing them to myself.
I did get to record the first draft of Silver Compass.
I will post all about that.
Not now but soon. I'm more in a Sarah mood and I'm a girl who goes with the mood.
I hope you had a few laughs.
When my kids crack me up it really makes up for the times they tick me off.
That's why I write it down, so I can focus on the funny and not the crummy

Have a lovely night. See you soon.

Thanksgiving is in 2 days. 

My husband Nathan has volunteered us to make the turkey, stuffing, gravy, pies, and sweet potatoes. 

Hmmmm. I resist being a grown up when it comes to things like this. 

I enjoy being taken care of by my parents and his parents.

 They are still able to and I love it. My mom was thrilled with Nate's offer to do Thanksgiving instead of her doing it. 

That's something I can feel good about. I like helping my mom out. 

I'm about to go to the store and buy the goods. I'm looking around my house through the eyes of "company is coming" and cleaning up piles of stuff. 

I've been trying to eat all the food out of our fridge so we have room for all the left overs. 

I took a nap today with a very full rumbly tummy :/  I take a nap several times a week.

 Maybe more.....Luke's best friend stayed over at our house while his parent were out of town. 

After staying at our house he went to his grandparents. They were struggling to get him to cooperate and do what they thought he should and he yelled at them 

"I want to go back to Kristen's! She let's me do whatever I want. She just lays in bed all day."

Huh.....

I do hide out in my room to read and nap a lot. Especially when I have a houseful of kids.

 If I stay out where I can see them I start bossing them around and ruining all their fun. 

Sometimes I can hardly handle  watching them build another fort and mess up the living room. 

Or watch  my girls try to bake some weird thing without a recipe. 

It's better if I just go read and nap and let them have a fun childhood. 

Back to the Thanksgiving discussion.

This will be our first turkey. I'm a 38 year old American woman and I'm finally making a turkey on Thanksgiving. 

That seems like a milestone. 

I hope it's a tasty milestone. We have 14 members of my family plus my own family of 7 that would like a nice turkey dinner.

I better go to the store.

Next time I want to write about the last couple of songs that I've been working on.

It seems like I never blog about music anymore. 

It seems like I never blog anymore.

Sometimes I can't remember why I blog in the first place?

Either way, next time I'll tell you about the songs I'm working on.

That is one part of being a grown up I do enjoy.

good books

I've always wondered if I'm manic depressive. I experience high highs and low lows. 

I'm married to a man who is very, very consistent and steady. We are a stark contrast from one another.

When I share with him my euphoric experiences he looks at me with a puzzled expression.

Euphoric? He feels like he doesn't experience euphoria, just a consistent state of contentment. 

Steady contentment? Wow. How would that be?

I'm puzzled by his consistent state of mind and he is puzzled by mine. 

I've had some hard days this fall. Many days I haven't been the mother I want to be. I haven't been the person I want to be. I've been trying, as usual, to find ways to maintain some kind of inner peace. 

Cleaning compulsively. Check.

Throwing temper tantrums. Check.

Retreating into myself. Check. 

A few weeks ago I ordered these books off of Amazon.

I felt pulled to them like a magnet. 

They arrived on my porch just in time.

A Course in Miracles

(my BFF Oprah talks about this book often)

I also ordered 

Proof of Heaven by Eben Alexander

I've never heard of the second book but felt a magnetic pull and knew I wanted it. 

These two books have been bringing me some peace and contentment and relief from my lows.

I have had experiences that I consider sacred. 

They have been beautiful and spiritual and miracles in my life. I think these beautiful experiences have given me a knowledge of God's love for all of us.
They have given me a small understanding that things are so much better than they seem.
There is so much more out there. They have given me intense feelings of love and joy but ironically, they have  contributed to my depressed low, lows. 

I feel a home sickness and a deep longing  for the feelings and experiences I've had. 

It's not up to me when these experiences come. 

These feelings are not something I can manufacture on my own. If I could I would stay in a constant state of love, peace and joy. 

Sometimes I feel abandoned by God and angels who have drawn so close to me.

 These feelings are painful. 

The past few days I have been brought back to the knowledge that I have not been abandoned. 

Now is my time on earth in this physical realm learning lessons and allowing for my soul to grow in ways that are only possible here.
It isn't time for me to be in the presence of God and all his loving angels.
That comes later.
Ugh.
How much longer?
I want to get away from the "ugh, how much longer?" feeling.
It's not a pleasant way to go through the day.
I just want some peace. I just want to know I'm loving and living and growing and feel a bit more on the steady contented side of things.
For today, reading these books are keeping my thoughts from the downward spiral.
Thank goodness.