Sometimes I think I'm pretty funny

 Which picture would you have picked?  

I picked this top one. I know I'm kind of squinting because there was a glare off the window across the street but.....I like my hair the best in this one. Plus, the way I'm sitting looks more natural. Plus I like that I don't have a big smile on my face. This picture says to me...."Yo. I'm a mama but that don't mean I always have to sing about my kids" or how about. "Dude, I don't know what the heck I'm doing but I'm trying to rock out here"  Or maybe "I'm almost 40 but I just figured out my favorite thing so watch out homeys  I'm going to be a rock star" or how about this one "While I do the dishes and the laundry I'm kicking some booty writing songs in my head!"

 Since I picked up my box of Demo CD's this morning I've been going back and forth between satisfaction and happiness to anxiety and embarrassment. This is how it sounds in my head.

"Oh happy day! Look how far I've come. 22 months ago I didn't even know I could sing like this let alone write my own songs. Yippee I made a CD!" 

Then my freaked out self pipes up.

 "What exactly do you think you are doing? I feel very uncomfortable all the time thanks to you and your big ideas."

Then my dreamy cheezy self rebuttals 

"Haven't you been listening to our inner voice? You need to go watch Oprah's Life Class and say your prayers tsk tsk tsk"  

Then anxious insecure girl says.

 "Need I remind you that your daughter's best friend who is 12 can play the guitar better than you? And anyway, you're squinting in that picture" 

Then cheezy positive girls says

 "Hush. You must grow up and stop being afraid to try. Making mistakes and doing things even when you're not perfect at them is the only way to learn and move forward and I know I'm squinting, haven't you read what I just wrote up there?"

Just so you know I've been writing this blog post while my twins keep getting out of bed and  talking and laughing and screaming and complaining and I keep having to put them back in bed and open the windows because Sarah is hot then close the windows because it's too cold then threaten to take all their toys away if I have to tell them to get in bed one more time and Sarah says "OK, do it" which makes me laugh and not sound convincing. 

Here is anxious insecure girl's Demo CD cover. Except her CD has no songs on it because she was too scared to try ;)

Let me know if you want cheezy positive girl's demo CD. I'll give you one for free. 

Even if you live in Cote d Ivoire in West Africa and speak French, I will still mail one to you.