Kristen Carol-"Come Back" Live

(can you believe it took me over an hour to decide what to wear and then I just go with a t-shirt and my favorite old skirt?)

Here is another one of my new songs. 

It sounds so much better in person.

My shaky little hands playing the guitar the best they could.

It was honestly fun to perform new songs.
I want to make sure I do more new ones for my show in August.

When I wrote this song I thought it was just for me. I think that about all my songs as I write them.
"This song is just for me. No one else will hear it."
If I were to approach song writing thinking,
"I'm going to sing this to family and friends and strangers"
That thought would halt the process. I'd be paralyzed by questions like,
"What would they want to hear? What would they like?" What will they think of me?"
The fact is, I don't know the answer to any of those questions. How am I supposed to know what they think or want or like?
I only know what I think or want or like and so that is how I approach writing a song.
I know I have emotions that need expression and so I find a way to express them honestly.
My true hope is that as I share songs that are honest and have personal meaning to me that they will translate to someone elses' life and story and have personal meaning to them.
After I wrote this song it was like medicine to my soul. I would listen to it over and over.
I had no intention of recording or performing it.
Plus this song didn't feel like a song I "wrote" it felt like a conversion I put to music.
A personal conversation between me and Heaven.

Bridget (cello player above)  is a very good friend of mine. One I trust and feel safe with.
She asked me if I had any new songs. I had Come Back recorded on my iPhone. We took a drive in my car and I played her the song.
It was her reactions to the song that really surprised me.
It meant something to her.
She loved it.
She had tears in her eyes.
Wow. Really?
I thought it was just for me.
Ryan, my brilliant guitarist (is it presumptuous to call him "my" guitarist?)
Ryan, the guitarist I hire, who has now become my friend, also loved the song.
I played it for him and we then recorded a rough draft at his house.
He texted me later.
"Listening to "come back" for the 23rd time today. It has really struck a powerful musical and emotional nerve with me. I love it"

I'm just learning as I go.
I'm learning how to be vulnerable. More importantly,
I'm learning why to let myself be vulnerable.
Why to be really honest about how I feel and what I think.
I'm learning to admit to feelings and thoughts that I'm ashamed of and in the process realizing that I don't need to be ashamed. I need to be honest and trust that the intentions of my heart are good.

I'm going to try and write a new song today. Even if the house is loud and messy and crowded with children,
 I'll be in my music room.