I've been cleaning all day. I honestly love it when I can clean un interrupted. That's how today has been. Nate took the twins on a fun outing so now I'm really free. The other 3 can are pretty low maintenance. I'm pretty tired from all the cleaning and laundry so I'm thinking I should sneak a nap in. Either that or catch up on my homework. I have lots of good Oprah programs recorded on my DVR I'd love to watch. I'm definitely a student of Oprah. I learn a lot from her new shows. My favorites that I record every week are Super Soul Sunday, Oprah's Next Chapter and Oprah's Master Class. I keep a stash of chocolate in my closet for when I need to lay on my bed and watch Oprah.
Remember how I used to sing and write songs and play my guitar? No? Either do I. I think I've forgotten how to write a song. Sad. I haven't written one in so long. I never feel like I have a chance anymore. I tried to yesterday but couldn't relax enough to let it come. I kind of have to go into a trance and sink into whatever emotion I'm feeling and let the words fall out. I need to feel safe relaxed and nonjudgmental of myself. I used to stay up late so I could feel totally alone. That really helps. I need time alone to see myself face to face. Maybe I'll need to trade in some sleep for a song. The thought of not being able to write one makes me so sad so I better find the time. Also I think I haven't written one in so long because I think what's the point? I'm not willing to sacrifice my Friday night date with Nate to go sing at an open mic. I'll just keep all these songs safe inside me till I have time to share them? I think there is a flaw in my thinking I think the point is that it's therapy for me to create. It helps me feel connected to the divine within in myself. That's the point! Ok. Glad I got that worked out ;)
I've tried to make a few videos to post on my blog but so far there has always been a glitchy computer issues and I haven't succeeded in posting the right video. Frustrating. I am willing to sing on this blog because I can do it when I have the time and I'm not needed by my kids. I'm hoping the stars will align soon.
But guess what I didn't tell you about. I got to sing my first solo in Sacrament Meeting (where the whole congregation meets to worship Jesus Christ) a couple weeks ago. There I was all by myself at the pulpit singing into a microphone. Doing such a thing in the past would have made me lose consciousness. I have grown up a bit apparently because I didn't pass out. I stood there and sang and only made mistakes that I could hear. I even enjoyed it. Not that my hands weren't completely sweaty and I could feel my dress quivering around me as I stood there. It felt like a huge privilege to get to sing one of my favorite songs for my ward. I felt so happy and blessed to do it.
Guess what else. I got called to be a ward chorister. When the Bishop (lay, unpaid leader of our congregation) asked me to do this I had no idea how. I said yes anyway because I'd like to learn how and I thought it sounded fun. Last Sunday was my first time. It was fun. We chose songs that were in 4/4 time and I did it right. :)
My house is filling with children. I better go. Have a great day or night or what ever time it is where you live. And leave a comment will you? It's been at least 2 posts that I have the big fat 0 comments staring me down.
Remember how I used to sing and write songs and play my guitar? No? Either do I. I think I've forgotten how to write a song. Sad. I haven't written one in so long. I never feel like I have a chance anymore. I tried to yesterday but couldn't relax enough to let it come. I kind of have to go into a trance and sink into whatever emotion I'm feeling and let the words fall out. I need to feel safe relaxed and nonjudgmental of myself. I used to stay up late so I could feel totally alone. That really helps. I need time alone to see myself face to face. Maybe I'll need to trade in some sleep for a song. The thought of not being able to write one makes me so sad so I better find the time. Also I think I haven't written one in so long because I think what's the point? I'm not willing to sacrifice my Friday night date with Nate to go sing at an open mic. I'll just keep all these songs safe inside me till I have time to share them? I think there is a flaw in my thinking I think the point is that it's therapy for me to create. It helps me feel connected to the divine within in myself. That's the point! Ok. Glad I got that worked out ;)
I've tried to make a few videos to post on my blog but so far there has always been a glitchy computer issues and I haven't succeeded in posting the right video. Frustrating. I am willing to sing on this blog because I can do it when I have the time and I'm not needed by my kids. I'm hoping the stars will align soon.
But guess what I didn't tell you about. I got to sing my first solo in Sacrament Meeting (where the whole congregation meets to worship Jesus Christ) a couple weeks ago. There I was all by myself at the pulpit singing into a microphone. Doing such a thing in the past would have made me lose consciousness. I have grown up a bit apparently because I didn't pass out. I stood there and sang and only made mistakes that I could hear. I even enjoyed it. Not that my hands weren't completely sweaty and I could feel my dress quivering around me as I stood there. It felt like a huge privilege to get to sing one of my favorite songs for my ward. I felt so happy and blessed to do it.
Guess what else. I got called to be a ward chorister. When the Bishop (lay, unpaid leader of our congregation) asked me to do this I had no idea how. I said yes anyway because I'd like to learn how and I thought it sounded fun. Last Sunday was my first time. It was fun. We chose songs that were in 4/4 time and I did it right. :)
My house is filling with children. I better go. Have a great day or night or what ever time it is where you live. And leave a comment will you? It's been at least 2 posts that I have the big fat 0 comments staring me down.
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