summer singing

Over the summer  I was invited to sing my songs at 3 different events. 

In June I went up to our ward's girls camp.  

The Miller's and I played in Logan Canyon before going to sing at girls camp.

I felt dizzy and weak the whole time. I have issues. Physical, emotional, ancestral. 

I was going to sing for people who are so kind and loving and accepting and I was still having weird stuff going on in my body. 

One of these days I must post about all the amazing people and practitioners I've met because of all my physical and emotional issues.

I've learned that our pain and our poor health can take us on a journey that is full of surprising learning experiences and amazing people with gifts to share. 

Baby Tessa is so delightful I can hardly stand it. 

A few minutes before I was to go up and sing and speak I got down on Tessa's blanket with her. I just laid there hoping whatever weird static energy that was stuck in me would be pulled out by the earth. Sweet Tessa snuggled right on me, laying on my chest. It was heaven and just what I needed. 

After the first song all the weird dizzy, pass out feelings evaporated and I had a wonderful time. I shared my heart and felt happy and safe and it was all well received. 

Emmaline and AnnaKate had to deal with their mom giving an hour long "show" and their dad leading a hike through the wind caves while teaching life lessons. They were good sports about it. 

The best thing about singing publicly for me has been how my kids like me more when I do. 

They don't treat me like the naggy mom, 

they treat me like they are proud of me. 

At least for about 15-30 minutes after I perform. I'll take what I can get! It's an awesome 15- 30 minutes. 

The Camp theme was "Together We Can" . 

Well if that doesn't sound like a song I don't know what does. 

I wrote a song for them! I called it "Together" I like it. It was fun to write and fun to sing and has a catchy chorus. 

The girls really seemed to like it. That was really rewarding.  It was really fun to write it and then have Ryan, the worlds sweetest guitarist, play the guitar and make it sound so good. 

 Lately I can't write a song unless I have a really specific reason. 

I take that back.

 I can write a song but I haven't been finishing or polishing any songs these days. 

I write enough of a song that I feel like it got whatever emotion or thoughts were jamming up my head and heart and then I'm done with it. 

I really hope I write and finish songs again. 

I used to really like it. 

In July we had our Morris Family trip to our Hyrum house in Hyrum Utah. 

We have a talent show every year for the kids and some of the funny adults share their "talents" too. 

I'm not funny and I don't know how to be goofy and hilarious so I avoid participating in this family show. This year though, my father in law insisted that I bring my guitar and sing. 

I brought my guitar and it didn't even make me nauseous to look at it in the corner of our room. 

I sang a couple songs in front of our family. I care about what they think so its much harder for me to sing for people I love than for people I don't know. I'd way rather sing for strangers than for family. 

I think I've made some kind of progress because It didn't make me queasy.

 I just sang and sounded good enough even with mistakes and it was fine. 

The last place I sang was at a social we had for church. 

Ryan was so sweet and brought over his nice speaker and other technical equipment. I was bummed he couldn't just come and play the guitar for me but he was playing at another party that night. 

My daughter Emmaline saved the day. While I played the guitar she played the ukulele and harmonized and totally relived me of the uncomfortable feeling of being on display "performing" 

If I could just be more like my daughter Emmaline. 

She shares her talents with happy grace. 

What a love she is. 

With the kids home and being out of town on vacations and then to have my health tank in August, 

this was all I did in the way of singing and performing this summer. 

It was enough. 

I have spent some time worrying that I'm not doing enough, that I'm somehow a slacker or a failure. 

My mom reassured me today that I'm doing what I feel I need to do each day. 

That really is the truth.

She totally saved the day when she called and basically answered all the questions I'd asked of God that morning. 

Thank heaven for inspired mothers. 

One day when I'm feeling really techy I'm going to figure out how to post my song "Together" on sound cloud and then I'll share it with you.