Spring Break and my take on Utah Culture

Southern Utah

 That is the back of Zions Canyon. Those 3 peaks are called the 3 Patriarchs

These pictures don't do the red mountains justice. They looked so beautiful with the snowy ones in the back ground.


 We went to St. George to visit my sister and her family for a few days. Spring break was fun but on the drive home the kids were winy and fighting and I said what I always say when we take a trip. "We are never taking a trip with these kids again!"  Nate of course said "Didn't you just tell your sister we'd be back in a few weeks?"  At one point all 5 of them were crying and telling Nate he was the meanest dad in the world for taking their stuff and putting it on time out.   Honestly, traveling with kids can be so awful. It felt marvelous to come home, send the kids to school and have 2 1/2 hours of alone time.  I even made yummy tacos for dinner and my kids even ate them without much complaint. Making dinner lately has been a challenge for me. It's not that I don't like to cook and clean its just that I don't like cooking 3 meals a day plus snacks then cleaning up. My laundry is out of control. How in the world does this happen? I feel like I'm doing laundry every single day? How does the laundry chute get clogged and I have yet another mountain to fold? Working hard  and seeing my house work undone is at the root of much of my frustration with my job.

After dinner I went to a Relief Society meeting. David Baxter was the speaker. He is from Scotland. His accent is so pleasant on the ears. His humor is witty and delightful. Best of all he knows the gospel of Jesus Christ in it's purest form. He is a general authority in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  His talk was so beautiful. I wish I could put a copy of it on my blog but he didn't have it written down. He did not prepare in advance, he just got up there and spoke from his heart.  It was so pure.  After his talk I went up to shake his hand. I told him I loved his talk so much I wanted to give him a hug and a kiss.  Yes. Yes, I said that to a general authority. Why? Why do I say these things out loud? At least I didn't say all of what I was thinking. While he was speaking I was thinking "I love him!  If we lived in France it would be acceptable to kiss both of his cheeks! I'd like to kiss both of his cheeks."

When I was talking to him after he was saying how him and his wife have been struck by how judgemental the members of the church in Utah can be. He told me of a young man that wanted to serve a mission but while in the MTC (Missionary Training Center) he had a "mental collapse" from all the stress. He came home and his ward assumed he must have come home because of some grave sin. He is now attending another ward because he felt judged and scrutinized. I found it so interesting to hear the Baxter's perspective. They have lived all over the world so they have a broader perspective than me.

 There is this thing that happens in Utah.  There is the Mormon culture and then there is the true gospel of Jesus Christ. Sometimes we get the two confused. It's sad really.  The gospel in its purity is so healing and so lifting. Parts of the culture on the other hand can be so......... not healing. Parts of the culture can make it feel like there is only one way to be and if your not just that right way then there isn't a place for you. It is too easy to fall into the trap of comparing your self and judging yourself and worst of all, judging others.   I really think there is so much in our little Utah Mormon culture that people confuse for the gospel. I have a friend that lives in Illinois. She said she'd never want to live in Utah because it's too "mormony".  She is a Mormon! She said she would go crazy with all the competition and comparison that some women do within the church in Utah. I know what she is talking about. I have definitely been the one to be like "Oh, now she is doing right! Her kids are so smart and well behaved and I know she doesn't yell or swear when her husband is out of town." (my husband assures me that these "perfect" women most certainly do yell and swear)  I also feel kind of bad on the rare occasion when I show up to church and all my girls have perfect hair and they are wearing nice dresses (not the Punky Brewster outfits they usually put together) and I have on a new outfit.  I feel like I'm probably making some woman feel bad because she just couldn't pull it off that Sunday.  I feel like I need to explain myself and reassure them that I got the outfit on sale and I had to bribe my girls to wear those dresses and I just got lucky with them allowing me to do their hair and you should have seen the mayhem last Sunday!


Last month I went to the Relief Society birthday dinner. It was awesome but It kind of gave me a panic attack.

 Notice the servers in their matching aprons.  Those cakes were so pretty and so delicious! Can you tell how long that table is?  Full of amazing homemade cakes by the women in my neighborhood!

  Martha Stewart herself would have been proud of the decor and food. The whole time I was in shock at the amount of work and care that went into the decorations, food, matching outfits for the servers. Look at those old men in their matching green vests! I was saying a silent prayer.  "Please Heavenly Father, never put me in charge of a party like this. I'll use paper plates and have it catered. I could never nor would I want to try to organize something like this! "

One thing I am learning is that Heavenly Father doesn't want me to be like anyone else. He just wants me to be my best self. He is the one who can help me see the very best version of myself. The thing that he has done for me is given me so much love and loved me just the way I am right now. When he surrounds me with his love  I really believe I am precious.  Love heals everything. God's love liberates and empowers.  It makes me feel like I can do anything he asks of me. It makes me feel like anything is possible. And yes, I have a little song about that too ;)       I'll sing it for you sometime.



Back to my St. George weekend.

 My sister's baby loves me. I was her favorite person. She let me hold her and hug her and kiss her and play with her. I guess she's not a baby, she is almost 3. You should see the way she says slide. It is indescribably cute! And the way she says bar-b-q sauce and ketchup. Oh Melissa, you need to get it on video, but if you can't I'm sure its's all saved and waiting for you.  I wrote a little song about that too.  It's video #25

My sister has lots of strengths that are my weaknesses. I am getting much better at not comparing my weaknesses to her strengths.  We can really help each other because we have different strengths.  I love being with her. It makes me want to be better. It also makes me want to go shopping.

This Friday is another open mike. I guess I'm going. If you want to come hear me feel free. 150 north 400 east in Bountiful at the Community of Christ Church. 7pm. I couldn't go last time but I heard there were some great musicians that came. I will have to keep reminding myself, "they have their strengths, I have mine" and not compare my weaknesses with their strengths. I must be brave and I must wear extra deodorant.

April 15, 11
I won't be going to the open mike. Something more fun has come up and I just can't miss it. Go hear the other musicians! I'll let you know when I go the the next one.